This is how NOT to YouTube: DSPGaming edition

I normally keep quiet on the matter of youtubers, especially as some of the biggest names such as Zoella aren’t making content that I am going to be interested in. However, Youtube’s gaming side IS something I am a relative fan on, and some of the most popular content makers are deserving of that praise. Sadly, there is one Youtuber who is truly terrible, and in fact he is so bad that I find it difficult to defend the uploads he makes- that man goes by the monicker of DSP (DarkSiderPhil) or DSPGaming, who, as is customary of the internet community, has been given the brilliant alternative name of DipShitPhil by those who detest his work.

DSP specialises- and I use that word lightly- as a walkthrougher, a gamer who plays a game’s storymode for others to experience. However, whereas the majority of people who do this make sure they know the game inside out or, at the very least, are competent gamers, DSP seems intent to show everyone that out of all the jobs in the world, being a YouTuber is the one career move he shouldn’t have made. He isn’t good at games, and whereas sometimes that can be funny, it isn’t quite so funny when all he does is die repeatedly and then complain that the game is bugged- as if it isn’t feasible to him that perhaps the problem lies with him and not with the game. Another thing that even an idiot knows is key to walkthroughs is editing. You may die a few times on certain missions in a game, and that might get dull for viewers, so cutting out those moments is key to keeping them on your side. Because he began in streaming, though, DSP either doesn’t believe in editing or doesn’t know how to do it. If he messes up, lucky viewers get to watch him fail over and over again, complete with his moaning and groaning and failure to accept that his mistakes are the real issue. He doesn’t edit a single second of his videos, which is acceptable if its taken from a stream, but doesn’t work when converted to YouTube.

To make matters worse, he fills the commentary on the videos he creates with some controversial statements. In one infamous Dead Space gaming video, he pretended to be a Nazi, made various comments about eliminating Jews, mentioned- and subsequently laughed about- the use of gas chambers and then acted as if being anti-semitic is just a big joke. When his fans commented on their disgust about his words, he politely and diplomatically handled the situation…by failing to even issue one little apology. He offended his fans, the people who keep him with a channel to use, and he didn’t even so much as acknowledge their concerns. On his GTA videos- of which there are many, all as bad as each other- he sings along to the random songs he hears, and he also has a habit of burping down the microphone, because apparently that’s exactly what civilised people want to hear. The singing isn’t in itself bad, but when you can get to the end of a walkthrough series needing to use a calculator to work out the amount of times he broke out into song, you know things aren’t going well.

Now, how do I know all this? Well, if you think its because I follow his channel, you’d better apologise to my face and think again. Thankfully, there is a movement on Youtube called “This is how NOT to play…”, where more competent uploaders shame those bad ones with montage videos- a sort of highlights reels of their monumental fuckups. Originally, I assume they began as a few one offs to highlight people doing terrible things to the site, but DSP produced so many videos- all of such terrible, atrocious nonsense- that it ended up becoming a series completely synonymous to him and his output. Frankly, they’re worth a watch, partly because they’re hilarious, but also to show support for Youtubers who had the patience to sit through his nonsense, edit it down and then upload it so we can all have a laugh.

I can only assume his popularity comes from how useless he is. When he began, he didn’t even have the capability to stream his screen into a video, and so instead he would just set his camera up in front of his tv as he played. I have no idea if he now knows how to do those properly, and I don’t care to know. Sure, a lot of people don’t know how to do this, but those people are amateurs. If you want to be taken seriously as a YouTuber, you need to do the basics right, and DSP makes the basics look extremely difficult.

If you want to watch his hilarious failures, sheer idiocy and immense incompetence, then do it through one of his montage videos, and not through his own channel. But by doing that you’re increasing his amount of viewers by one, and that inflates his ego and helps his diabolical channel continue. I guarantee, though, that you will laugh out loud at his fails, and then you’ll laugh even louder about his complaints. If you take a shot every time DSP blames the game mechanics, a glitch, or literally anything other than his own lack of ability, you’ll be dead from alcohol poisoning in a record time of four hours. If Youtube is the future of media, it deserves better than this.

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